The Newest State
by dingdongre
Summary: After Florida is knocked out by Hurricane Cody, Florida is declared dead. This causes US to replace Florida with the closest US territory: Puerto Rico. (The style of this story is Polandball.)
1. Hurricane Cody

During mid-October in the year 2024, Hurricane Cody struck the southeast coast. Three states were hit, but Florida was damaged critically. Florida was knocked down and wasn't moving. One day after the hurricane passed, Minnesota checked Florida's heartbeat, but there was no pulse. Florida was declared dead. The United States held a funeral for the dead state 3 days later, the states mourned the loss of their "tropical" friend. A week later, the remaining 49 states and the US held a meeting. The topic was: "What do we do about the US flag?"


	2. Replacing Florida?

"After the loss of Florida, what are we going to do about your flag, US," asked Massachusetts. United States replied, "The flag has 50 stars, not 49." "What the hell is that supposed to mean," asked New York angrily. "It means that we're going to replace Florida," said Kansas. "That's a bad idea," remarked Georgia, "No one could ever be a perfect replacement for Florida." Kentucky comes up with the idea, "What about Puerto Rico?" The states began to murmur, "That could actually work," said Wisconsin. "That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard," said Alabama with disgust, " Why should we let a SEPARATE COUNTRY be a US state?" US replies, "It is one of my territories, but it just might work." A vote is initiated, 39 states vote yes, 10 vote no. "It's official," said the US, "Puerto Rico is our new 50th state!"


	3. Good News, Puerto Rico!

"Hey, Puerto Rico," US shouts. "Hi, United States," says Puerto Rico. US tells Puerto Rico, "I've for some good news for you." "What is it," asks PR. "You are no longer a US territory," says US. PR, heartbreakingly asks, "How is that good news?" US replies happily, "But you are now a state, the new 50th state!" "Are you serious? Is this a joke," asks PR ecstatically. "This is not fake, it's real," says US. "I'm so happy, but why," asked PR. "Well," US explains, "Do you remember Hurricane Cody?" PR replies, "Yes." "It killed one of my states: Florida," US says. "Sorry about the loss," said PR, "But, of every one of your territories to make a state, why did you choose me? You could have chosen Guam, American Samoa, Northern Mariana Islands, or US Virgin Islands. Why did you choose me?" US responds with, "Kentucky mentioned you in a meeting about finding a replacement for Florida. You're the closest territory, in terms of distance, and you are somewhat similar to Florida. Basically, you were the perfect, and only, suggestion. Now that you're a state, you can vote in presidential elections." "That's cool," says PR. "By the way, I'm having a party in your honor tomorrow," US mentions, "Be sure to show up." "I'll be there," says PR.


	4. Party In The USA

At the welcome party, hosted by United States in Washington DC, all 49 states await the arrival of their newest state, Puerto Rico. "I can't wait," said Colorado, "where is Puerto Rico?" Suddenly, the door opens, Puerto Rico comes into the room. "Hi, everybody," shouts Puerto Rico. "Hi, Puerto Rico," everyone shouts back in unison. United States asks to silence the party for a minute. "I would just like to say: Puerto Rico, you are an official US state. How does it feel to be a state," says United States. "It feels pretty good to be one with you, to be an immediate part of this family instead of a distant cousin," replies Puerto Rico. The silence ends and the party resumes. Puerto Rico meets each of the other 49 states, from Alabama to Wyoming. "It's nice to know that you don't have to change your flag," Puerto Rico says to United States, "But what do I do about my flag?" United States tells Puerto Rico, "You don't have to get rid of it, hold on to it. You can use it as a state flag, which can save me a lot of time, because I won't have to make you a new one." Puerto Rico replies, "Ok." Alabama, who is very drunk, yells to Puerto Rico, "Go back to *hiccup* where you came from! You don't belong here, and you will *burps* never belong here!" United States notices and asks Alabama, "Why would you say that to our guest of honor? Don't you have any decency? And this is supposed to be a formal party, why the hell are you drunk?" "Puerto Rico doesn't belong here, Puerto Rico has never belonged," said Alabama. United States says, "I know you were one of the 10 states that voted to not let Puerto Rico become a state, but the vote was passed and Puerto Rico is our new state. So stop complaining about it!" Georgia says to Puerto Rico, "I understand that you're not Florida, and that I was one of the 10 states that voted against you becoming a state, but you are pretty similar to Florida. And I think that we can be good friends." "I can see it too," replied Puerto Rico. "Are you another state that's not within the mainland," asks Hawaii. "Yes," replies Puerto Rico. "Me too," says Alaska. "It's nice to know that I'm not the only state that's not a part of the mainland," said Puerto Rico.


	5. Florida Is Alive?

After midnight, in the state cemetery, there is a disturbance of proportional levels. Florida's grave is where the disturbance seems to be coming from. Vibrations are active as the tombstone shakes. What could be causing this sudden burst of seismic activity? Is it an earthquake? The vibrations stop after about 30 minutes. All is quiet for one minute. After that, Florida emerges from the grave. "It's good to be back," says Florida, "No hurricane can kill me. I better go tell US that I'm not dead, it will be so surprising. It's dark now, I'll do it in the morning."


	6. Alabama Reforms The Confederacy

Alabama, along with Mississippi, Tennessee, Arkansas, Georgia, Virginia, Louisiana, South Carolina, North Carolina, and Texas are coming up with a plan to get rid of Puerto Rico as a state. "I actually didn't want to be a part of this," Georgia says while exiting the meeting room. The remaining 9 states start making their evil plot. "I should get Kentucky for coming up with the idea of adding Puerto Rico as a state, it was better off being a territory," says Virginia. Tennessee comes up with, "We could bomb Puerto Rico. Should I get the nukes ready?" "No, that's too evil," replies Alabama, "we want to get rid of Puerto Rico as a state, not get rid of Puerto Rico completely. And that will make US look bad, and make us look worse to US. We don't want to ruin US's reputation, let alone ours." Louisiana comes up with, "We could talk Puerto Rico out of being a state." "No, we need action, it won't take us seriously if we just simply talk it out of being a state," Alabama replied. "Wait," Mississippi suddenly says, "remember the Civil War?" Arkansas, annoyed, says, "We lost that war, why would you bring it up?" Mississippi answers with, "We can be the Confederation again." "It could strike fear into Puerto Rico," North Carolina adds. "You know what," Alabama begins, "That just might work. We are now officially the Confederation, again." "But this time," adds Texas, "We won't be defeated!" Georgia comes back into the meeting room. "I thought you weren't going to be a part of our plan Georgia," says South Carolina. "I'm not a part of your plan," Georgia starts, "I just forgot my hat." "Oh, ok then," Arkansas said. Georgia leaves the meeting room for good this time. "So, are we the Confederation," asks Alabama. "Yes," everyone says in unison. Alabama asks again, "What is our mission?" "To get Puerto Rico back where it belongs, as a territory," says everyone. Alabama says, "Let's give 'em hell."


	7. What Does Georgia See?

Georgia is enjoying the day when something strange is spotted in a shrub. It appears to be part of a white triangle bordered with red lines. "Are you Florida or Alabama," Georgia asks, "If you're Alabama, your pranks are not funny." Georgia begins to approach the mysterious triangle, but it vanishes as Georgia makes it to the shrub. The white triangle is spotted again in an alley. Georgia proceeds to the alley. Georgia hears the alley dumpster closing and decides to take a look inside. What could be in the dumpster? Georgia is shocked to find Florida in the dumpster. "Florida," Georgia asks, "Is it really you?" Florida replied, "Yes, my friend, it's me, Florida." "I can't believe it, you're still alive," Georgia says ecstatically. "What did I miss," asks Florida, "Did anything happen while I was gone?" "This may be shocking to you," Georgia says, "But you have been replaced." "WHAT," Florida shockingly asks, "By who?!" "Puerto Rico," Georgia replies. Florida asks, "But why?" "Well," Georgia begins, "You were killed by Hurricane Cody, then we buried you, after that, we had a meeting about updating the flag, which led to US replacing you because US didn't feel like changing the flag from 50 stars to 49 stars, which led to Puerto Rico." "I didn't die from the Hurricane," Florida started, "It merely knocked me out." "But Minnesota checked your pulse, and there wasn't one to be reported. Therefore, you were declared dead." "I was in a coma for about two weeks," Florida says, "But i'm fine now. Now, let's go tell US that I'm still alive." "Alright," Georgia starts, "But let's clean you up first." Florida asks, "Do you think that US will let me go back to being a state?" "I have no idea," Georgia responds.


	8. Puerto Rico's First US Election

On November 4, 2024, the Presidential Election is happening. The Republican candidate: DJ Khaled, the Democratic candidate: Adam Sandler. This is the first presidential election in which Puerto Rico, as a US state, can vote for the next President of the United States. And the votes are in: DJ Khaled wins the popular vote by 54%, but Adam Sandler wins the electoral vote by 60%. Adam Sandler is the next president of the United States. United States tells Puerto Rico, "This isn't the first time an election like this has happened," Says United States. "No kidding," Puerto Rico replies, "I remember when your president was Donald Trump." "Don't remind me," US says shamefully. "So," Oregon asks, "Who did Puerto Rico support?" "Somewhere within me wanted to vote for DJ Khaled, but I voted for Adam Sandler because everyone knows him better than Khaled," said Puerto Rico. "That makes sense," replied New York. "This should be interesting," said Nebraska. "Seriously," asks Tennessee, "DJ Khaled was clearly a better candidate, why did you vote for Adam Sandler?" "Sandler seemed like a better candidate," Puerto Rico says, "And everyone knows Adam Sandler, not everyone has heard of DJ Khaled. I still don't know what he does." "He's supposedly a musician," replies Iowa. "Puerto Rico does make a valid point," says Colorado, "Everyone knows an actor better than a musician." "He's technically a rapper," California argues. "Still a musician," Nevada replies. A verbal argument breaks out. "Hey," yells US, "It doesn't matter which candidate became president. What matters is that Puerto Rico voted." "You're right," says Delaware, "Why were we even arguing?" "I don't remember," Idaho said. "But let us support Puerto Rico's decision," says Michigan. "Thank you, Michigan," says Puerto Rico to Michigan.


	9. Florida Meets Its Replacement

In late January of 2025, Florida and Georgia are hanging out with each other. "Let's go to McDonald's," Florida suggests. "Great idea," replies Georgia. When they enter the McDonald's, Georgia is surprised to find Puerto Rico at a table. "Let's go to the counter to place our orders, and quickly," says Georgia. "What's the rush," asks Florida, "the night's young and I'm in no hurry." They make it to the counter, as they begin to place their orders, Puerto Rico notices Georgia and asks, "Georgia, is that you?" Georgia nervously turns halfway to look at Puerto Rico. After Georgia and Florida order, pay for, and search for a table, Puerto Rico invites them to the table that PR is at, and they accept. "So," Puerto Rico asks Georgia, "Who's your friend here? Please tell me that it isn't Alabama wearing a disguise." Georgia replies, "Are you ready to be shocked?" "Is it Alabama," Puerto Rico asks. "It's Florida," Georgia says. "Hi," says Florida. "Florida," Puerto Rico starts, "But United States told me that you were dead. Did you fake your own death just to prank me?" "I was actually knocked out by Hurricane Cody," said Florida. "But when Minnesota checked his heartbeat, there was no pulse," said Georgia. "So," asked Puerto Rico, "Are you technically dead, Florida?" "My heart was temporarily disabled," said Florida, "But I don't know how I still survived. Also to mention, I was buried and managed to escape." "That is surprising," said Puerto Rico. "Because you were 'dead'," Georgia started, "US decided to replace you with Puerto Rico to prevent the flag from losing a star." "That is actually a really good way to keep the flag as it is," said Florida. "So," asks Puerto Rico, "Do you want my help to become a state again?" "Well," begins Florida, "If we tell US, that may be too shocking." "Do you really want to help Florida become a state again," asks Georgia. Puerto Rico replies, "Yes." "If US allows me to be a state again," says Florida, "You'll go back to being a territory. Do you really want to risk that?" "If it will allow you to become a state again, I will risk being a territory again," says Puerto Rico bravely.


	10. Tropical Storm Skyler

During June of 2025, Puerto Rico encountered Tropical Storm Skyler. This tropical storm wasn't much of a threat to Puerto Rico, but did cause major damage. After the tropical storm ended, Puerto Rico was heavily, but not severely injured. Due to Puerto Rico being a US state, United States helped to take care of Puerto Rico by having Puerto Rico sent to the hospital and paying all of the hospital bills for the new state. "Minnesota," US asked, "How's Puerto Rico doing?" "Puerto Rico is doing fine," said Minnesota, "It's not severe, but there are some bruises and hairline fractures." "Don't worry too much," Puerto Rico says to US, "I'm still alive, that's something to be happy about." "That point is valid," said Connecticut. Three weeks pass, and Puerto Rico is out of the hospital. The states celebrate Puerto Rico's recovery by throwing PR a party. Every state, excluding the Confederacy, showed up to congratulate Puerto Rico for the recovery. "Thank you so much," says Puerto Rico, "If it weren't for US assisting me with my recovery, I wouldn't be here." US replies, "I'll do anything to keep my states in good health." "Who wants some cheese," Wisconsin asks the party. "Trust me when I say," North Dakota begins, "Wisconsin makes the best cheese you'll ever taste." Puerto Rico takes a bite of the cheese and says, "You were right, this is the best cheese!" "Told you," said North Dakota. Utah asks the party, "Who loves Puerto Rico?" Everyone replies, "We do!"


	11. Florida Meets The Confederacy

When Florida was going for an evening stroll, Alabama suddenly ran into Florida. "Hey," said Alabama rudely, "Watch where the hell you're going!" "Sorry," replied Florida. "Hey," Alabama started, "Do I know you?" Florida sweats nervously. Alabama has a sudden realization, "You're Florida!" Florida begins to run away from Alabama. "Get him," commands Alabama. Texas pounces on Florida, Florida can't escape. "Well, well, well," Alabama starts, "Florida? I thought you were dead. Whatever, now that you're alive, you can assist us in our plan to get rid of Puerto Rico as a state. Think about it, you'll be a state again, and we'll never have to deal with Puerto Rico again. So, what do you say, will you join us?" Texas gets off of Florida. Florida asks, "Who are you guys?" "Let's tell Florida who we are, boss," says Mississippi. "Alright," says Alabama, "Florida, we are the Confederacy." "Oh, not this again," Florida says mentally. "We're gonna make Puerto Rico a territory again," said Virginia. "You don't want to do that," said Florida. "Why not," asked Alabama menacingly. Florida replied, "Puerto Rico is actually nice, and happy being a state. I don't want to take that away from Puerto Rico, and PR hasn't been a state for an entire year." "But we're not going to allow that," said Virginia, "Join us." The Confederate states chant "join us" thrice. "Join us, or be crushed like a bug," Alabama said. "I'll think about it," Florida said to the Confederacy. "You better say yes," said Alabama menacingly. The Confederate states leave. Florida has a thought, "What the hell just happened? I have to protect Puerto Rico."


	12. Surprise, US

After last night's encounter with the Confederacy, Florida decides to warn the other states. US notices Florida, but thinks it's Alabama. "Going to apologize to Puerto Rico," asks US. "Yes," says Florida doing a decent Alabama impersonation. "Ok," says US, "Wait a minute, Alabama would never apologize. I see you've changed your ways, I'm proud of you." "Thank you," says Florida, still doing the impersonation. Florida continues to run to meet Georgia, but US realizes, "If I know Alabama correctly, an apology to someone Alabama hates would never happen." "Oh crap," Florida thought. "I would like to talk to you," US said to Florida. Florida stops, US approaches Florida. "So, Alabama," US starts, "Why are you in a hurry to be 'nice?' This is definitely unlike you." "Can't a state turn over a new leaf," Florida asks, continuing the impersonation. "Are you about to get drunk," US asks. "I'm going to have a few drinks," replied Florida, still pretending to be Alabama. "Why don't you look at me for a change," said US. "I can't," Florida said, while keeping the impersonation, "I'm very ugly." US, getting cranky, said, "Just look at me, you have nothing to be afraid of." "Florida yelled, "NO!" Florida has realized that the impersonation has accidentally been dropped. US finally manages to get a good look at Florida. "F-F-Florida," US stammers, "is it r-really you?" "I didn't want you to find out like this," said Florida embarrassingly. US shockingly said, "I thought you were dead. How did you manage to survive Hurricane Cody?" "Well," Florida started, "I was merely knocked out by Hurricane Cody. When you found me, I was in a coma-like state." "But," US said, still shocked, "Minnesota checked your heartbeat. There wasn't a pulse. You were declared dead." "The hurricane was so scary, that is stopped my heart," said Florida. "That's weird, but I'm glad that you're alive. By the way, nice impersonation of Alabama," said US. Florida replied, "Thank you." "But anyway," US asked, "What's got you in a hurry?" "I have to warn the other states," said Florida. US, now concerned, asks, "About what?" Florida says, "The Confederacy is back, and they're going to try to 'get rid of Puerto Rico, as a state.' I don't know how they're going to do it, but I have to get the other states to stop them." "Wait," US begins, "The Confederacy is back? After the Civil War, I thought the Confederacy was completely over. If they've been stopped once, they can be stopped again." "That is correct," Florida replied. "At least you're not a part of it, this time," said US. "Georgia and I aren't a part of it this time," added Florida. "You know what," US said, "I'm going to help you defeat the Confederacy. Now let's get the other states to help us." "Let's protect Puerto Rico," shouts Florida.


	13. Puerto Rico Is The Party Animal

It's the Fourth of July, and Puerto Rico is now a big part of the celebration. "Ok," Arizona starts, "On this holiday, we get to blow up stuff without any problems." "Sounds dangerous," said Puerto Rico. "Don't worry," said Kansas, "We take safety measures." "For example," Indiana starts, "Don't be too close to the fireworks." "And," begins Maine, "If you're going to light an explosive, throw it after you light it. Throw it far and/or high." "Or," adds Nevada, "Light it, then place it in this launcher." "I know how to use explosive devices," remarked Puerto Rico. "That's even better," said New Mexico. Puerto Rico lit some fireworks, and it was the best experience that has ever been had. "Would you like to know why this is one of my favorite holidays," asked US. "We get it," Ohio said annoyingly, "Because it's your birthday." "How about," US started, "Great food and great explosives." "These burgers are delicious," said Puerto Rico, eating two burgers. "Oh," Oklahoma says, "The song is on." US says, as Puerto Rico finishes the second burger, "Let's dance." Puerto Rico replies, "Ok." Every state does the tradition of dancing to the song: Cotton Eye Joe, even Puerto Rico is a part of the tradition. After the song ends, "Nice dance moves," said Rhode Island. "Thank you," said Puerto Rico. A friendly dance-off happens between New York and Puerto Rico. They dance to the song: Footloose. The winner of the dance-off is: Puerto Rico. New York congratulates Puerto Rico and is thankful for the friendly competition. The Confederacy isn't partying with the other states on the dance floor, but are at the bar. They are disgusted by how the states love Puerto Rico so much. "Puerto Rico won't be around for long," said Arkansas. "You got that right" said South Carolina. "Enjoy being a state while you can," said Alabama. The Confederacy chuckles evilly in unison.


	14. The Union Is Reformed

After yesterday's party, Florida decides to tell the other states about the Confederacy's plot to remove Puerto Rico from the US states. Florida checks the area for any members of the Confederation, no members are in sight. Florida first tells Georgia about the evil plot. "I'm somewhat aware of their plot," said Georgia, "After I left to get my hat, I heard them shout their plan. And they tried to have me join them, but I declined." "So did I," replied Florida. "We were already a part of The Confederacy once, and that didn't end well." "That's true," said Georgia, "Now we must warn the other states." Florida and Georgia rush to the other states. "Everyone," Georgia began, "The Confederacy is back, and they're trying to get rid of Puerto Rico." "Let me guess," Iowa started, "You know this because you're a part of the Confederacy, right?" "No," said Florida, "We are not a part of the Confederacy." "Florida," said Minnesota shockingly, "I thought you were dead. I checked for a pulse after Hurricane Cody, and you didn't have one." "Are you a zombie," asked Pennsylvania. "No," Florida began, "I am not a zombie, and I was not killed by Hurricane Cody. I was merely knocked out by it, and it was so scary that it caused my heart to stop." The states are shocked, but agree that Florida's statement is true, and are glad the Florida is alive. "Sorry about replacing you," said Kentucky, "US refused to change the number of stars on the flag." "I know," said Florida, "Georgia told me. Now, we must come together to take down the Confederacy." "We can reform The Union," said Missouri. "This seems oddly familiar," said Vermont. "Is this going to be like the Civil War," asked New Hampshire. US adds, "Not this again. I thought there wouldn't be another Civil War." "We must protect Puerto Rico," said Georgia. "I agree," added Maryland. "Same here," said Kansas. The states agree to reform The Union, their mission is to protect Puerto Rico. "The Confederacy is outnumbered," said Montana, "They don't stand a chance against us." "Puerto Rico," said Florida, "Consider yourself safe. We promise to not let The Confederacy harm you." "Thank you all," said Puerto Rico happily.


	15. Another Civil War?

Puerto Rico, concerned, asks United States, "This may sound like an odd question, but is there going to be another Civil War?" US answers, "With the way that things are going, that may happen. I don't know if I want to watch my states fight each other again." "We shouldn't have to go to war again," said Kansas. "We were really formed to protect Puerto Rico from the Confederacy," said Nevada. "I don't want to do this again," said Indiana. "If we won the first time," Pennsylvania started, "we can win the second time." "I'm ready to win again," said Nebraska. "You weren't even a state then," remarked Iowa. Nebraska responded, "But I was still aware of what was going on. "Everyone," shouted US, "stop arguing. We may have been involved in the first civil war, but we're together now and have one objective: making sure that Puerto Rico isn't harmed by the Confederacy. "You're right," Missouri responded. "So," started Puerto Rico, "There is going to be another Civil War?" "Apparently," Washington responds. "Florida," says Puerto Rico, "Are you sure that you want to be replaced by me?" "I'll be fine either way," Florida responds calmly. "I would not have expected a war to break out," said Puerto Rico. "It's not your fault," US said to Puerto Rico, "Because the Confederacy has declared war against the states that aren't them." "They actually declared war," asked Oklahoma. "How stupid are they," Wisconsin asked rhetorically. "But," Vermont started, "We have them outnumbered." "That's true," said New Hampshire. "Well," started US, "Looks like you guys are going to war, again." "Am I involved," asked Puerto Rico. "Of course not," replied United States, "I can't send you to war, and this dispute is between the states."


End file.
